Many young people move out of their homes to live alone or to live with their friends. Some people think this is a good idea. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #move #homes #friends #idea

Deciding where to live is one of life's more difficult choices for youngsters. One may opt for life in the home or with

friends

. In my opinion, living in your own

place

is more advantageous.

This

due to

the fact that the house is the safest

place

this

world.

firstly

, nowadays youngsters face different challenges

such

as the complicated education system,

as well as

economic disturbances.

Consequently

, they try to become mature and willing to earn money and take care of their parents

also

. ,

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

they move to cities and stay alone or with colleagues to start their journey. Not only that some teenagers follow their high studies, and do jobs equally. But the real problem is completely different. Too much freedom can end them in bad company and

also

drugs.

Secondly

Add a comma

,Secondly

show examples

they need time to bloom. If they take the battle

Change preposition

into

show examples

their hands at a very little age, it seems to be more possibility to lose. The love and care we receive from our own

place

are worthless. No one care or battle us if there is a problem.

Friends

are much more, but real

friends

are hard to find. There should be some unchangeable reasons to leave the house, but keep in mind to find a suitable

place

for our circumstances. But some people believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

option is good. On the other ,hand it teaches people to become independent. Despite all the bad ,things there are some, who achieve their targets.

To conclude

, I believe staying with family is the best thing than living alone or with

friends

Submitted by pmmadushani123 on Sun May 21 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many young people move out of their homes to live alone or to live with their friends. Some people think this is a good idea. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries are investing new technology to deal with the public. Why it is happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of goverment money?

Nowadays there is a tendancy to relocate overseas for lucrative jobs.While a faction of people holds the notion that this movement is challanging (?)for juveniles, others argue that it is better for children.

Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?