IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, some workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women workers. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In the contemporary era, certain organisations adopt the method of equal amounts of male and female employees.From my perspective, I strongly believe that
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 is a positive trend as
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 will foster innovative ideas and bring more harmony to society. To commence,
both
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 sexes are very pivotal in making firms grow as they combine together to promote the well-being of the business sectors because men and
women
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 have their own unique way of balancing the workforce to pave the way for the industry to grow.Ultimately,
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 results in equity and equality of human rights in the nation.A good illustration of
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 is the medical profession in the health sector,especially nurses.previously,females used to dominate males when it come to employment and
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 led to the setback of the healthcare system because males are more logical than
women
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.Recently,evenly distribution of employment of girls and boys in the hospital is now bringing positive results.
Furthermore
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, another favourable development of
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 will foster cooperation among
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 genders and will reduce the notion that there is favouritism of particular sex over the other .
For instance
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 ,a survey carried out in the year 2022,illustrates that male surpasses the females in a certain engineering company because of their strength.
Hence
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 ,
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 resulted in a worldwide campaign from the opposite sex and the industry was shut down.
Finally
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,it is the right of an individual to be entitled to a job ,they are qualified for and a mixture of
both
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 men and
women
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 in equal numbers will create balance in the workforce. In conclusion,
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 is a positive approach for employers to involve a uniform amount of
both
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 sexes as
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 encourages equal opportunity for men and
women
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 to work in harmony and promotes the growth of the industry.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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