IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Behaviour in school is getting worse .Explain the causes and the effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions

#behaviour #school #effects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays education is a very important and a main part of our life.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
pupils
Use synonyms
 are getting worse.We can find easily badly-behaved
pupils
Use synonyms
 in school I will mention the reasons and effects.
Similarly
Linking Words
, it has a few solutions I will start with reasons of badly behaved,
pupils
Use synonyms
 can learn subjects anywhere for free so they are ignoring learning.
Also
Linking Words
, most of the
pupils
Use synonyms
 have mobile phones and they spend their time on the Internet
instead
Linking Words
 of studying.
Firstly
Linking Words
 there are many impacts of badly behaved
such
Linking Words
 as they will be unintelligent, in future they will be workless. After that, they have to do some criminal work
such
Linking Words
 as robbery. If their parents spend more time with their children and say about results. Not only parents, but teachers should
also
Linking Words
 continue teaching interesting subjects. In conclusion, teachers should take into consideration their children because they play an important role in their study life.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: