Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports even though others claim they should have the freedom to choose a sport to their liking. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Nowadays there is a variety of different
sports
that involved
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
physical
risk
Change the noun form
risks
show examples
,
such
as rock climbing
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can
cause
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
damage and even death. Some state that
people
should be able to choose what sport they want to engage in, no matter what the risk is.
However
, I am opposed to that idea and I believe that the government should ban certain
sports
in order to keep their citizens safe. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will discuss the issue and explain my opinion.
Firstly
,
while
it is true that
people
have a free choice over their wants, I tend to concede with
this
statement. Some claim that if a certain person accepts the risks of engaging in an activity that can
cause
damage,
then
it's their own choice to make
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since they are willing to pay the price for
hospitalzation
Correct your spelling
hospitalisation
of having a
sugery
Correct your spelling
surgery
.
Nevertheless
, Athletes wasting hospital resources
such
as time, energy and capacity is not fair.
For example
, a sick kid who needs
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urgent surgery is not prioritized since there is an injured climber who needs
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
immediate surgery.
Consequantely
Correct your spelling
Consequently
,
This
action can lead to
over crowded
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
show examples
hospitals and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of human and medical resources.
Moreover
, Having injured
athlethes
Correct your spelling
athletes
in society could
cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
damage
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
economy. In order to create a developed, successful country, the government should make sure that each person is not risking themselves and causing unnecessary injuries. Having
people
hurt themselves through dangerous
sports
will
cause
people
miss
Add the particle
to miss
show examples
work days and have
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of work power, which directly harms the
countrys’
Change noun form
country’s
show examples
economy. In conclusion,
Although
I think that engaging in
sports
is a great activity, I believe that the government should ban risky
sports
in order to save medical resources and prevent a downfall in the local economy.
Submitted by mayab2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: