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Band 5

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any jobs they want. other feels that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. what is your opinion?

#people #men #women #jobs
A few people think that there should be no gender discrimination when choosing a job.
On the other hand
, some people believe that males and females are not the same with respect to many traits, so women should select only specific positions.
This
 essay will illustrate
both
 views. As for as my opinion is concerned I am in the favour of second notion.
To begin
 with,
both
 the fertile have equal mental calibre, so they go with any sort of
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
. To elaborate
it
Change preposition
on it
show examples
, mainly
both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sexes get the same opportunities in the field of education. Nowadays, they are enriched with similar skills, especially, since girls are not only more informative but
also
 innovative in nature,
then
 why should not
work
 in any field? If they do not
work
 in every environment
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 it will cause
deficiency
Correct article usage
a deficiency
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the labours.
For instance
, in
Pakistan
Add a comma
,Pakistan
show examples
 ladies are part of almost every
workplaces
Change to a singular noun
workplace
show examples
, even in the army because they have
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 level of motivation for
work
 as men.
Hence
, they should be given
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 values to
work
.
On the contrary
, it is
obsorved
Correct your spelling
observed
 that females are physically weaker than males, so they are not able to withstand
physical
Change the word
physically
show examples
 demanding
work
 sites. To explicate it, it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 matter of
genatic
Correct your spelling
genetic
genetics
 that girls are not able to sustain
harsh
Correct article usage
the harsh
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 normally encountered at
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
. Labour
work
 is the epitome of tasks which
demanding
Wrong verb form
demand
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of body strength, and
hence
 they are unable to perform there.
Therefore
, the task in which physical
involement
Correct your spelling
involvement
 is needed should be
lemited
Correct your spelling
limited
 to males. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying,
both
 viewpoints are discussed with relevant arguments.
However
, I personally, subscribe to the notion that girls are not able to perform
plathora
Correct your spelling
plethora
 of
work
 but they can do only specific
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 less
tiredy
Correct your spelling
tiring
.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • meritocracy
  • traditional roles
  • STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • biological differences
  • physical capabilities
  • gender stereotyping
  • job suitability
  • skills and qualifications
  • diverse workforce
  • legal frameworks
  • societal progress
  • historical evidence
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