When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that some

people

argue that when selecting an occupation, income is the most remarkable factor. Despite many other considerations to opting for a job, I firmly believe that handsome salaries are the top priority for dream careers. On the one hand,

it is clear that

people

tend to pursue a profitable job as finance is a prerequisite factor to meet basic needs. Indeed, in the modern day, many

people

expect high-salary

jobs

deserving of their efforts and academic levels and that

also

allows them to cover their needs and have a reasonable quality of life. To be more specific, there are several things that they have to pay for including housing, electronic bills, water bills, and other services.

In addition

people

decide to choose their

jobs

based on enjoyment and non-financial factors, it is hard to make ends meet.

For instance

, numerous artists, are known for choosing a career path that they love, but that does not always provide a stable income for an adequate and well-being life.

On the other hand

, there are various considerations which are as important as salaries in choosing the

jobs

Firstly

, colleagues' attitudes and atmosphere in the workplace have crucial impacts on productivity and mental health . To be more clear, friendly counterparts are able to make workers feel comfortable and willing to complete their work timely.

Secondly

, with some

ones

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, they find it happy and satisfying to achieve their dream

jobs

rather than earning money.

For example

, Steve

Jobs

used to accept to work without wage, he dedicated all his personal happiness and passion to work.

To sum up

while

there are countless reasons for choosing the

jobs

, I suppose that desirable salaries are vital to attach more significance.

Submitted by lethanhson7a on Tue May 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. However, the reasons for prioritizing salary are not well-developed. It would benefit from further explanation and elaboration on the importance of income in selecting a job.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates some logical structure and supported main points. However, the introduction and conclusion are lacking, and the connection between ideas and examples could be improved. Work on providing a more cohesive and well-structured essay with clear introduction and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

consideration
sole factor
financial stability
security
motivating factor
dissatisfaction
demotivation
job satisfaction
overall well-being
fulfillment
work-life balance
flexible working hours
vacations
career growth opportunities
skill development
advancement
determining factor

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
In this jet-set age, with times worth being significantly more compared to an ancient period of life, with everyone working around the clock, chasing their dreams, trying to be the best in an every expect of whatever they do, they somewhat completely ignore their personal life and health. For these reasons being the hot topics around the globe, some people are highly emphasizing on having a four days work week. My school of thought finds me in a split between both views.
5
band
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Due to the growth of workforce number, many people sought to settle for the first job that lands on them rather than pursuing their preferred career. In this regard, I partially agree to this behavior noting the current labor circumstance that erases career options for many individuals.
6.5
band
Topic: Some people think that the spread of multinational companies and globalization produces positive outcomes for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Common people believe that expanding multinational companies and globalization will have a positive impact on everyone. I agree with this statement considering that multinational companies can be enriched in many aspects.
7
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
People have different views as to whether an increasing number of individuals with health issues are attempting new methods of medications and treatments rather than visiting their regular doctor. In my opinion, despite there are various benefits of this approach, I firmly believe that it brings about many more drawbacks.
6.5
band
In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In many countries, older people often face a lack of respect in contemporary society. This essay will explore the reasons behind this issue and the potential problems it may cause.

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Topic: Some people think that the spread of multinational companies and globalization produces positive outcomes for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.