When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that some

people

argue that when selecting an occupation, income is the most remarkable factor. Despite many other considerations to opting for a job, I firmly believe that handsome salaries are the top priority for dream careers. On the one hand,

it is clear that

people

tend to pursue a profitable job as finance is a prerequisite factor to meet basic needs. Indeed, in the modern day, many

people

expect high-salary

jobs

deserving of their efforts and academic levels and that

also

allows them to cover their needs and have a reasonable quality of life. To be more specific, there are several things that they have to pay for including housing, electronic bills, water bills, and other services.

In addition

people

decide to choose their

jobs

based on enjoyment and non-financial factors, it is hard to make ends meet.

For instance

, numerous artists, are known for choosing a career path that they love, but that does not always provide a stable income for an adequate and well-being life.

On the other hand

, there are various considerations which are as important as salaries in choosing the

jobs

Firstly

, colleagues' attitudes and atmosphere in the workplace have crucial impacts on productivity and mental health . To be more clear, friendly counterparts are able to make workers feel comfortable and willing to complete their work timely.

Secondly

, with some

ones

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, they find it happy and satisfying to achieve their dream

jobs

rather than earning money.

For example

, Steve

Jobs

used to accept to work without wage, he dedicated all his personal happiness and passion to work.

To sum up

while

there are countless reasons for choosing the

jobs

, I suppose that desirable salaries are vital to attach more significance.

Submitted by lethanhson7a on Tue May 23 2023

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Task Response

Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. However, the reasons for prioritizing salary are not well-developed. It would benefit from further explanation and elaboration on the importance of income in selecting a job.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates some logical structure and supported main points. However, the introduction and conclusion are lacking, and the connection between ideas and examples could be improved. Work on providing a more cohesive and well-structured essay with clear introduction and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

consideration
sole factor
financial stability
security
motivating factor
dissatisfaction
demotivation
job satisfaction
overall well-being
fulfillment
work-life balance
flexible working hours
vacations
career growth opportunities
skill development
advancement
determining factor

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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in on European country on different days

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the main environment problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.