When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that some
people
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argue that when selecting an occupation, income is the most remarkable factor. Despite many other considerations to opting for a job, I firmly believe that handsome salaries are the top priority for dream careers. On the one hand,
it is clear that
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people
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tend to pursue a profitable job as finance is a prerequisite factor to meet basic needs. Indeed, in the modern day, many
people
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expect high-salary
jobs
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deserving of their efforts and academic levels and that
also
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allows them to cover their needs and have a reasonable quality of life. To be more specific, there are several things that they have to pay for including housing, electronic bills, water bills, and other services.
In addition
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,
people
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decide to choose their
jobs
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based on enjoyment and non-financial factors, it is hard to make ends meet.
For instance
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, numerous artists, are known for choosing a career path that they love, but that does not always provide a stable income for an adequate and well-being life.
On the other hand
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, there are various considerations which are as important as salaries in choosing the
jobs
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.
Firstly
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, colleagues' attitudes and atmosphere in the workplace have crucial impacts on productivity and mental health . To be more clear, friendly counterparts are able to make workers feel comfortable and willing to complete their work timely.
Secondly
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, with some
ones
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apply
show examples
, they find it happy and satisfying to achieve their dream
jobs
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rather than earning money.
For example
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, Steve
Jobs
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used to accept to work without wage, he dedicated all his personal happiness and passion to work.
To sum up
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,
while
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there are countless reasons for choosing the
jobs
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, I suppose that desirable salaries are vital to attach more significance.
Submitted by lethanhson7a on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. However, the reasons for prioritizing salary are not well-developed. It would benefit from further explanation and elaboration on the importance of income in selecting a job.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates some logical structure and supported main points. However, the introduction and conclusion are lacking, and the connection between ideas and examples could be improved. Work on providing a more cohesive and well-structured essay with clear introduction and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
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