IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two pie charts provide comparison of what Canada population preffered to acquire in the Internet market in 2005 and 2010.

The two pie charts provide comparison of what Canada population preffered to acquire in the Internet market in 2005 and 2010.
The
two
Use synonyms
 pie charts provide
comparison
Add an article
a comparison
show examples
 of what
Correct article usage
the Canada
show examples
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
show examples
 population
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to acquire in the Internet
market
Use synonyms
 in 2005 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
electornics
Correct your spelling
electronics
 and appliances were the most
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
 demanded commodities by far in both years, whilst
sales
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 home furniture lost
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
market
Use synonyms
 share significantly. The biggest
sales
Use synonyms
 area in the nation in 2005 was electronics and
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of
thirty five
Add a hyphen
thirty-five
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
Linking Words
overall
Add an article
the overall
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market
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 sector lost its dominance with thirty per
cent
Use synonyms
 in share and
becoming
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the second
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
market
Use synonyms
 within five years.
In addition
Linking Words
,
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
 furniture sphere occupied a quarter of the
market
Use synonyms
 in
two
Use synonyms
 thousand five but
then
Linking Words
 dropped to 15% in
two
Use synonyms
thouhsand
Correct your spelling
thousand
 ten. Meanwhile,
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 and beverage sector was the third part of the
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2005 with
twenty
Add a hyphen
twenty-two
show examples
two
Use synonyms
 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of deals,
however
Linking Words
, it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
gained its
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2010 reaching up to 32 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and becoming the first sphere chosen by Canadians.
Sales
Use synonyms
 of video games were
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
forth
Correct your spelling
fourth
show examples
 place in 2005 with
eighteen
Correct article usage
an eighteen
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
 share
as well as
Linking Words
replacing
Wrong verb form
replaced
show examples
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
 furniture
market
Use synonyms
 as the third-highest
market
Use synonyms
 in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words two, market, sales, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provide" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "comparison" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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