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Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people's interest in famous people in the history of their country?

#people #pop #movie #stars #history #country #interest
Nowadays, it is observed that despite having famous
people
 in the history of
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 country, young adults are more interested in foreign
musicians
 and movie stars. In my opinion, the two reasons for
this
 are getting used to foreign
cultures
 and
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
 quality of
musicians
 in
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 country,
whereas
 I
also
 believe that
this
 situation may be solved if two steps,
such
 as making national
musicians
 attractive and keeping young
people
 away from other
cultures
, are taken. On the one hand, there are several factors for
this
, and
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 of the primary ones is thinking
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
 that foreign
music
 and movies are better than national ones.
In other words
, for some countries' teenagers foreign
music
 is suitable for hearing
due to
 their meanings, beats or being appropriate to teenagers' feelings.
Thus
, there is more attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 songs and movies
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 other countries. What's more,
music
Correct article usage
the music
show examples
 of famous
people
 in
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
 of a country may be poor and
not-suitable
Correct your spelling
not suitable
show examples
 to hear.
That is
 to say, over time,
people
's mind is always changing, so songs in history may not be liked by
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
people
.
In addition
, on many social media,
such
 as
Instragram
Correct your spelling
Instagram
 and Tik Tok, foreign
music
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 becoming more and more popular.
On the other hand
, it is highly like that
this
 situation can change if two steps are taken.
Firstly
, if national
musicians
 create quality songs, young
people
 may be
attracted
Correct quantifier usage
more attracted
show examples
 to national
music
 than foreign ones. For doing
this
,
musicians
 and
film makers
Correct your spelling
film-makers
show examples
 should study young
people
's feelings, like love, hate,
feeling
Correct word choice
and feeling
show examples
 alone, and
then
 make
music
 and films suitable for them.
Secondly
, if national
music
 and films have poor quality, teenagers strive
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other
cultures
. If so, their mind can
also
 be like
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
 of other
cultures
,
then
 they want to listen to
music
 as if other nation's
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
 listen
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Therefore
, foreign films and
music
 should be reduced as much as possible on national TV channels and shows.
Doing
Change preposition
In doing
show examples
 so, young adults may be kept away from other
cultures
as well as
 their
music
 and movies.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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