IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words

#minutes #topic #people #time #hobbies #case #effect #society
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Recent studies have shown that fewer
people
Use synonyms
 devote
time
Use synonyms
 to hobbies nowadays. In
this
Linking Words
 article, I'm going to display my thoughts on why
this
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 is happenings and what effect it has on
people
Use synonyms
 and society. I believe adults are now working more hours a week than ever before, which includes weekends in some cases.
This
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 results in them having less
time
Use synonyms
 outside of their jobs, which they would spend
time
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 with their families/friends, and maintaining their homes. Technological advancements would
also
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 have a huge impact on
people
Use synonyms
 not taking part in hobbies now. Adults and children spend a large chunk of their
time
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 on social media, watching television and playing video games. If you were to look back 15-20 years ago,
people
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 would spend more
time
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 outdoors. Children would be playing outside most of the day with their friends, but the sad reality is that they now spend
time
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sat
Wrong verb form
sitting
show examples
 indoors on mobile phones, iPads, and watching television.
As a result
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 of all of the above, the rate of obesity is rising more than ever before. With
people
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 becoming overweight, they are less likely to engage in sporting activities. The thought of going out to dinner, and scrolling on Instagram far
outweights
Correct your spelling
outweighs
 the idea of playing football with friends or joining a local netball team.
To conclude
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; with
people
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 working more, spending
time
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 on social media
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along with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching television and playing video games,
people
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 are spending less
time
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 in the outdoors and joining sports clubs and other hobbies.
As a result
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, the nation is becoming more obese
overall
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 which makes the situation worse.
Submitted by faten92.fd on

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deprive
  • leisure activities
  • harmful impacts
  • relieve stress
  • enhance productivity
  • boost creativity
  • foster social interactions
  • escape from daily routines
  • pursue one's interests
  • balance work and personal life
What to do next:
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