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Band 5.5

Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#educationalists #child #instrument
While
 some educationalists tend towards the viewpoint that every
child
 should be taught how to play a musical
instrument
, I would have to support the idea that children are free to choose what they like to learn
besides
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 at school. On the one hand, there are clear arguments that every
child
 should learn at least one musical
instrument
. One of the main
reasoncan
Correct your spelling
reasons
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 that music can bring more positive effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 children’s development. Normally, parents are encouraged to
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 time
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
unborn
Add an article
the unborn
an unborn
show examples
child
 to listen to music that
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
child
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
 improve intelligence. Learning a musical
instrumnet
Correct your spelling
instrument
 in childhood not only brings some benefits of intelligence but
also
 get more skills
such
 as patience, concentration, etc.
Besides
 that, playing a musical
instrument
 is a good
activite
Correct your spelling
activity
 to relax after school.
For example
, a
child
 who can play guitar or piano can be prioritized for a musical performance at school. When they get older, they have more advantages than others if they want to apply to a band.
On the other hand
, I disagree with the viewpoint that every
child
 should know how to play a musical
instrument
.
This
 is because each person has different
characters
Replace the word
characteristics
show examples
 and hobbies. People who enjoy music usually have open-minded, or imaginative,
emotional
Replace the word
emotions
show examples
. Children should choose what they like to learn by
themeselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
show examples
,
although
 teaching a musical
instrumnet
Correct your spelling
instrument
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 every
childs
Correct your spelling
child
 can get benefits, I am convinced that children should
learning
Change the verb form
learn
be learning
show examples
 more subjects
base
Wrong verb form
based
show examples
 on their hobbies, parents can consider that when
Add the particle
to make
show examples
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
 a
decission
Correct your spelling
decision
 for
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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