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Writing Samples /
Band 1

It is a good thing for the senior managers to have better salaries than other workers in a company or organization? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#managers #salaries #workers #company #organization
This
 line chart depicts how
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 money people spend on cars in Asia. It is clear from the graph
there
Correct word choice
that there
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in all the countries since 2003.
According to
 what is shown, we can notice China
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
growth from 1995 to 1999 after that there was
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 from 1999 to 2003 but
countries
Correct article usage
the countries
show examples
 grow in 2005.
However
, Indonesia has
shiny
Change the adjective
shinily
show examples
 increased between 2001 and 2005, but it
was remained
Change to the active voice
remained
show examples
 steady between 1999 and 2001.
Moreover
, Thailand has varied spend from $40 million-$60 million on average, but we can notice that Vietnam has
stable
Change the adjective
stably
show examples
 increased without decreased all over the years.
To sum up
, we could say that all the countries were decrees in 2005, but most of the time they have
grew
Wrong verb form
grown
show examples
.
Submitted by qazwsxcvbnm1452 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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