IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

It is often difficult for young people to find a good job without previous work experience. Governments should encourage employers to choose young people when they need new workers. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #job #work #governments #employers #workers
In
this
 cutting-edge era, numerous youngsters are facing difficulties in
order
 to find
jobs
 as they have no previous
work
 experience. The regime ought to foster employers to recruit young
ones
 whenever they need workers in their
companies
. I entirely agree with
this
 notion.
This
 essay will discuss my opinion precisely in the upcoming paragraphs. There are some reasons why the authorities should encourage employers to give young
ones
jobs
 whenever they need workers. The predominant one is that recruiting more youngsters would be helpful in
order
 to decline the unemployment rate. Not only it will be worthwhile for young
ones
 but
also
 it would be fruitful in
order
 to develop nations. To be more precise, a plethora of young
ones
 could earn money for their livelihood. Without, money no one can survive in their life and cannot be able to attain success.A survey conducted by the USA demonstrated that 78% of the decrease in the unemployment rate was because the administrations encourage to firms for recruiting modern-era individuals.
Moreover
, giving
jobs
 more to those people who have knowledge about technology could be good for organisations which recruit to modern masses as it will be beneficial for proliferating the productivity of
companies
.
This
 would be good for
companies
 as they would expand more in the market and it is
also
 beneficial in
order
 to develop countries.
Additionally
, with the aid of young people,
companies
 can do
work
 on or before time by using various electronic gadgets and youngsters have only knowledge about technology. Older people have only experience of
work
, but they have no cognizance of technology. Senior citizens would not be able to
work
 in less time. In conclusion, I reiterate that choosing more modern individuals for
jobs
 is not only beneficial for
companies
 but
also
 helpful for the progression of countries. the unemployment productivity
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decline and the productivity of firms would
also
 increase with the help of young
ones
.
Submitted by MANJOT on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: