The diagram below shows the production and processing of milk production for commercial sale.

The diagram below shows the production and processing of milk production for commercial sale.
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The illustration demonstrates how the
milk
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is processed and produced for retail purposes. From an
overall
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perspective, the process commences with cows grazing and ends with
milk
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and
dairy
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products being sold in
shop
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the shop
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. It is an 8-stage, linear, man-made process. The first stage begins when cows are allowed to graze on agricultural land so that they can produce
milk
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. They are
then
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milked twice a day by machinery and stored
it
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apply
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into
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in
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a refrigerator to ensure that it stays fresh. A
milk
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tanker collects the
milk
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and delivers the
milk
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to a
dairy
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where the process can be continued
further
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.
After
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this
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step is complete, the
dairy
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is ready to produce and convert the
milk
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into either pasteurized
and
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or
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packaged
milk
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so that it will be more
straightforwardly
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square
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and convenient for customers to use, or it is turned into various kinds of
milk
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dairy
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such
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as cheese, cream and butter that can be sold. Once the
last
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step has been completed, all of the items are sent to supermarkets and shops in order to be sold to the public.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words milk, dairy with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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