IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: Say why you would like to go on the trip Suggest what you could do to help during the trip Ask other questions about the trip

#child #three #school #trip #country #head #teacher #parents #group #questions
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I have recently received the (a) letter from the
school
Use synonyms
 about requiring parents to participate in the
school
Use synonyms
trip
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 China for three
day
Change to a plural noun
days
show examples
 which will be held next month. Fortunately, I have a holiday and
available
Add a missing verb
am available
show examples
 to go
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
a school
show examples
trip
Use synonyms
. I am
therefore
Linking Words
 writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to apply and would you please consider me to be a part of
this
Linking Words
 tour. I am willing to join
this
Linking Words
 tour,
this
Linking Words
 is because I would like to spend
this
Linking Words
 my leisure time with
son
Correct pronoun usage
my son
show examples
 to travel and do many activities
together with
Linking Words
 him. I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 plan to visit my best
friend’s
Change noun form
friend
show examples
 Tommy hometown who is living in Peking, the central city of China.
According to
Linking Words
 my Chinese language skill, I
able
Add a missing verb
was able
show examples
 to assist
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 by being a guide and translator during the
trip
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I can find
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accommodation which is nice,
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 and cheapest. For
this
Linking Words
 matter, I would like to know some detail about
this
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 tour especially the documents
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
you require
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 apply and how much money for the
trip
Use synonyms
. I
hope fully
Correct your spelling
hopefully
show examples
 you will allow me to be a part of
this
Linking Words
 journey. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Wanvisa Jodnok
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enthusiastic
  • valuable experience
  • expertise
  • educational objectives
  • supervision
  • ensure safety
  • bonding
  • workshops
  • logistics
  • coordinates
  • travel arrangements
  • clear communication
  • support
  • responsibilities
  • manage schedules
What to do next:
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