Some people say that children should learn all the subjects equally. Whereas other think that they should only learn what they are intrested in. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is
little
bit hard to keep Add an article
a little
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
whether
Change preposition
on whether
children
should learn all the subject
. some people think it should. Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
However
, some people think children
should only learn the subject
which their interested in. In this
article, I will in illustrate both views and declare my opinion.
On the one hand, learn
all the Wrong verb form
learning
subjects
equally bring
two main benefits to Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
children
. First of all, learning some specific subject
allows children
to improve their ability. math and English are the essential subject
in our life. Change the noun form
subjects
This
is because we can’t without calculation and communication. To be more specific, if children
dislike Math and didn’t
learn anything about math, Wrong verb form
don’t
then
it
can’t solve Correct pronoun usage
they
out
a simple calculation during their daily life. Socialization is another advantage of learning all the Change preposition
apply
subject
equally. Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
In other words
, learning all the subjects
equally allows us to do social movement
successfully. Fix the agreement mistake
movements
For example
, if you are in
a social event, Change preposition
at
we
can easily talk with Correct pronoun usage
you
other
using Fix the agreement mistake
others
subject
topic as a chat theme. If we do not learn, it is hard to communicate when we first meet a stranger. Add an article
the subject
Therefore
, learning all the subjects
is a beneficial experience.
On the other hand
, learning subject
which Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
children
interested
in cannot be ignored. Add a missing verb
are interested
To begin
with, motivation has proved to be possible to study. This
is due to
the fact that study motivation is product
Correct article usage
the product
by interesting
. if Change preposition
of interest
children
. Keep learning subject
which Correct article usage
the subject
its
dislike., they will definitely hate it. Correct pronoun usage
you
Moreover
, it is necessary for teachers to improve their class content. The more interesting in class, the more children
like
.
Correct pronoun usage
like it
To conclude
, although
many believe that children
should learning
Change the verb form
learn
be learning
subject
Correct subject-verb agreement
subjects
what
they are interested in. I still think Correct word choice
that
children
should learn all the subjects
equally should
be supported.Correct word choice
and should
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introduction conclusion present
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supported main points
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complete response
Make sure to stay on topic throughout and avoid any irrelevant details or tangents.
relevant specific examples
Aim to provide more specific examples and details to substantiate your main arguments.
task achievement
Your essay does a good job of outlining both views regarding the topic, which is essential for a discussion essay task.
logical structure
You have included a separate paragraph for each contrasting viewpoint, which aids in clarity and distinction.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs are focused on specific points of discussion, maintaining consistency in the argument presented.