The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?
It is certainly true that today obesity has become
epidemic
in many countries worldwide and many Correct article usage
an epidemic
people
struggle with it. In this
essay, I will discuss the reasons behind increase the overweight
among individuals, Change preposition
in overweight
as well as
I will recommended
some measures to mitigate Change the verb form
recommend
be recommended
this
problem.
In terms of causes of obesity, Firstly
, people
in
Change preposition
apply
this
days rely on fast Correct determiner usage
these
food
instead
of prepare
their meals Change the verb form
preparing
in
Change preposition
at
homes
. Fix the agreement mistake
home
This
because
junk Add a missing verb
is because
food
contains too much sugar and salt and lack
Correct subject-verb agreement
lacks
to
essential Change preposition
apply
nutirtional
elements for Correct your spelling
nutritional
healthy
diet, which Add an article
a healthy
this
contributes to Correct pronoun usage
apply
gain
weight for Wrong verb form
gaining
people
. Furthermore
, junk food
is inexpensive and tasty , which make
it Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
better
choice for Add an article
a better
the better
people
, because they do not have enough time to make their own food
. Secondly
, individuals adpot
Correct your spelling
adopt
adapt
sedentary
lifestyle. To Correct article usage
a sedentary
illusrate
, Correct your spelling
illustrate
people
do not receive sufficient exercise. For example
, most people
nowadays, spend a considerable of time in front of technology such
as,
Remove the comma
apply
computer
, Fix the agreement mistake
computers
smartphones
without any movement.
Regarding solutions, First and Correct word choice
and smartphones
formeost
, Correct your spelling
foremost
government
should introduce harsh laws in order to force Add an article
the government
restruants
to make Correct your spelling
restaurants
make
healthy Remove the redundancy
apply
food
rich by
minerals and vitamins with less fat and salt. Change preposition
in
Second
measure, lawmakers should launch educational campaigns in order to Add an article
The second
A second
rasie
awareness among individuals about Correct your spelling
raise
negative
impacts of eating junk Correct article usage
the negative
food
,
and Remove the comma
apply
also
engcourage
Correct your spelling
encourage
people
to do regular exercise.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the major reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
of
Change preposition
for
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
the
rate of obesity among Change preposition
in the
community
is Add an article
the community
unhealthy
and inactive lifestyle, and I suggested some steps can taken by authorities to reduce Add an article
an unhealthy
this
issue including, introduce
Wrong verb form
introducing
the
strict laws and Correct article usage
apply
incentivize
Wrong verb form
incentivising
people
to do workout and eat healthy
diet.Add an article
a healthy
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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