IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today, some companies like to ask applicants for personal
information
Use synonyms
 because they think that it is useful to find out a potential employee and others think
this
Linking Words
 is irrelevant. There are two views that I will discuss below. With personal
information
Use synonyms
 given, employers can see who is suitable for their hiring position.
For example
Linking Words
, my friend’s company - TTM Co,.ltd is looking for a marketing salesman to expand to some countries. So
this
Linking Words
 has some requirements for applicants as a dynamic and single person who can go on business flexibly. Of course, my friend needs to ask candidates for some
information
Use synonyms
.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, some people think that personal
information
Use synonyms
 is more irrelevant and unimportant than their performance through problem-solving
skills
Use synonyms
 and gained experiences before.
For example
Linking Words
, Summerset Hotel branches hire their employees with good-looking and spoken language
nevertheless
Linking Words
 they need these to have problem-solving
skills
Use synonyms
 and customer service
skills
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, whether asking for personal
information
Use synonyms
 is helpful or not depends on the employer’s point and job demand. Sometimes, the candidates will tell the employers if they think
this
Linking Words
 is necessary. So to my opinion, the applicants will show their best in performance and solving
skills
Use synonyms
, another advantaged skill to get their lovely job.
Submitted by amusetour14 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: