You have seen an advertisement for a part time job welcoming visitors to your town. Write to the recruiters. In your letter •Explain why you want the job • Describe why you would be a good person for the role • Describe any relevant experience you may have

#advertisement #part #time #job #visitors #town #recruiters #•explain #person #role

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Dear Recruit

manager

Correct your spelling

Manager

show examples

, I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to apply for a

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

job

Use synonyms

about welcoming visitors. I would like to get

this

Linking Words

job

Use synonyms

, because I have free

time

Use synonyms

as the

time

Use synonyms

you require in advertising, and I believe that I can be

Change preposition

in a

show examples

good role with my

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

to do

this

Linking Words

job

Use synonyms

Fristly

Correct your spelling

Firstly

, when I read the advertisement, I felt the

job

Use synonyms

is really interesting

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because I could meet and talk with many people.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, I just

quited

Correct your spelling

quit

quoted

my current

job

Use synonyms

, so I have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

that days.

Thus

Linking Words

, I can focus on

this

Linking Words

role totally.

In addition

Linking Words

, I thought that I am a good person at welcoming, and I like to talk and take care of others.

Additionally

Linking Words

, I

was be

Change the verb form

was

show examples

a consultant

sales

Change preposition

in sales

show examples

before, I need to meet and explain to many clients a day,

Linking Words

this

Correct word choice

and this

show examples

also

Linking Words

relevant to

this

Linking Words

job

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that I can do good

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

with my experiences. I am looking forward to receiving your reply soon. Yours faithfully, Joseph Hien

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Sat Jun 03 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

173 words

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You have seen an advertisement for a part time job welcoming visitors to your town. Write to the recruiters. In your letter •Explain why you want the job • Describe why you would be a good person for the role • Describe any relevant experience you may have

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Creative artists should always have the freedom to express their ideas in any way they wish. The government should not restrict what they do. To what extent do you agree with this opinion.

In some countries, students studying in university live with their family, whereas in other countries, students choose to study in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from homes while studying outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?