Some People believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion.

Trend
Add an article
The trend
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of graphics
games
and
media
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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dramatically rising. Millions of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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prefer to spend most of their time on graphical
games
. A group of traditionalist claims that these activities
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
an adverse effect on the community.
While
some
people
think that these trends are not related to how
people
act. In my opinion, these gadgets and social
media
plays
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play
show examples
an essential role
on
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in
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brainwashing
peoples
Change noun form
people's
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mindset.
To commence
Fix the infinitive
Commence
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with
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apply
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, every day more than 1 billion
people
use social
media
and play pc
games
, and there are some
anti national
Add a hyphen
anti-national
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groups on social
media
which
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
small
Add an article
a small
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amount of money to complete a normal task. Individuals who are
mostly
Replace the word
most
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active have
high
Correct article usage
a high
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retention rate,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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is why they create a task in
such
a way which can psychologically
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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them and make them as their
pupet
Correct your spelling
puppet
to do any wrong thing.
Moreover
, there
games
Add a missing verb
are games
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like blue
wale
Correct your spelling
whale
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which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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banned by the Government,
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
more than 10 thousand
people
attempt suicide
while
playing that game.
Thus
,
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
manipulating someone's mind is
to
Replace the word
too
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common on these platforms.
On the other hand
, there are some individuals who are mostly
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
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from
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by
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studies, bad financial stability, and
bulling
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bullying
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.
For instance
, a kid that has been bullied can sometimes be cruel to someone else. Another point to consider is the fact that younger seek help but they do not have enough support from the ruling authorities. In a nutshell,
adverse
Correct article usage
the adverse
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effect of social
media
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
badly affected the mindset of the community, as a matter of
fact
Add the comma(s)
,fact
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people
are
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
big crimes, which is too tough to control, and psychologically
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
games
should be banned by the Government.
Submitted by pranav10puri on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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