Some People believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Trend
Add an article
The trend
show examples
of graphics
games
Use synonyms
and
media
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
dramatically rising. Millions of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
prefer to spend most of their time on graphical
games
Use synonyms
. A group of traditionalist claims that these activities
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
an adverse effect on the community.
While
Linking Words
some
people
Use synonyms
think that these trends are not related to how
people
Use synonyms
act. In my opinion, these gadgets and social
media
Use synonyms
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
an essential role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
brainwashing
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
mindset.
To commence
Fix the infinitive
Commence
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, every day more than 1 billion
people
Use synonyms
use social
media
Use synonyms
and play pc
games
Use synonyms
, and there are some
anti national
Add a hyphen
anti-national
show examples
groups on social
media
Use synonyms
which
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
amount of money to complete a normal task. Individuals who are
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
active have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
retention rate,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is why they create a task in
such
Linking Words
a way which can psychologically
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
them and make them as their
pupet
Correct your spelling
puppet
to do any wrong thing.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there
Use synonyms
games
Add a missing verb
are games
show examples
like blue
wale
Correct your spelling
whale
show examples
which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
banned by the Government,
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
more than 10 thousand
people
Use synonyms
attempt suicide
while
Linking Words
playing that game.
Thus
Linking Words
,
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
manipulating someone's mind is
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
common on these platforms.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some individuals who are mostly
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
studies, bad financial stability, and
bulling
Correct your spelling
bullying
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a kid that has been bullied can sometimes be cruel to someone else. Another point to consider is the fact that younger seek help but they do not have enough support from the ruling authorities. In a nutshell,
adverse
Correct article usage
the adverse
show examples
effect of social
media
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
badly affected the mindset of the community, as a matter of
fact
Add the comma(s)
,fact
show examples
people
Use synonyms
are
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
big crimes, which is too tough to control, and psychologically
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
games
Use synonyms
should be banned by the Government.
Submitted by pranav10puri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
What to do next:
Look at other essays: