IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Fossil fuels like coal, gas, and oil are the primary sources of energy for most countries. However, there are alternative energy sources like wind power and solar energy that have been encouraged for use by some countries. To what extent is this a negative or a positive advancement?

#fuels #gas #oil #sources #energy #countries #alternative #wind #power #advancement
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, petrol, diesel and natural gases are the most common
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
using in
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 globally. But some countries trying to deviate from that, they use some other product to fulfil their requirements.
According to
Linking Words
 my point of view, it is a positive development because the remaining natural power
sources
Use synonyms
 are in minimum stock and
also
Linking Words
 these fuels are the main cause of global warming.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
energy
Use synonyms
 sector holds a paramount part of the world economy,
due to
Linking Words
 recent technological advancement and transport development
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption increased unprecedently.
This
Linking Words
 demand mainly relies on natural resources and
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 leads to the quick depletion of these resources. If countries
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
 about alternative fuels it will be a great problem in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future.
For instance
Linking Words
, recently South Africa faced a nationwide blackout for long hours
due to
Linking Words
 fuel shortage because their electricity supply mainly depends on conventional
sources
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 every nation in the world must draw their attention to other power-generating
sources
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of fossil fuels.
Secondly
Linking Words
, increasing global warming is the major environmental problem humans
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 future and even today. The main reason for
this
Linking Words
 global warming is the burning of fossil
energy
Use synonyms
. To reduce
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 effects world
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 now moving to renewable
energy
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 like solar and wind power never eliminate harmful gases which caused increasing environmental temperature.
Hence
Linking Words
 the usage of
this
Linking Words
 kind of method is highly beneficial in terms of conserving the planet. In conclusion, some nations tend to use new
energy
Use synonyms
-generating
sources
Use synonyms
 like solar and wind power
instead
Linking Words
 of fossil
energy
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is a positive move because of its help to conservation of fossil fuel
sources
Use synonyms
 and its help to decrease global warming.
Submitted by priyanthaj309 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your supporting points are clearly linked to the main topic and develop a more balanced discussion of the positive and negative aspects of using alternative energy sources.
coherence and cohesion
You have made a good effort in presenting your ideas in a clear and organized manner. To improve further, ensure that your ideas are logically connected and use cohesive devices effectively throughout the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: