The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given chart compares the habit of doing regular
exercise
Use synonyms
between
men
Use synonyms
and
women
Use synonyms
in various age groups.
Overall
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
tended to do more regular physical activity than
men
Use synonyms
.
Men
Use synonyms
between 15 to 24 years old showed the strongest
willing
Replace the word
willingness
show examples
to
exercise
Use synonyms
regularly, which accounted for slightly more than half. The
group
Use synonyms
over 65 was in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place, with just under 50 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Group
Use synonyms
55 to 64 came
third,
Linking Words
which was made up 45 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The following were
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
45 to 54 and 25 to 34, which
contitued
Correct your spelling
continued
constituted
slightly above 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The
men
Use synonyms
from 35 to 40 were least willing
doing
Change the verb form
to do
show examples
regular physical
exercise
Use synonyms
, with only less than 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
the least percentage of
women
Use synonyms
over 65 years old
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who exercise
show examples
exercise
Wrong verb form
exercised
show examples
regularly, with slightly above three
quarter
Fix the agreement mistake
quarters
show examples
, which was almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
men
Use synonyms
.
Women
Use synonyms
from 15 to 24
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
made up less than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half, which was fewer than
men
Use synonyms
. In the remaining
Use synonyms
group
Add a comma
,group
show examples
women
Use synonyms
did more regular physical activities than
men
Use synonyms
, and among them,
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
45 to 54 showed the strongest
willing
Replace the word
willingness
show examples
, with 53.3 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The
folloing
Correct your spelling
following
were
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
55 to 64, 35 to 44 and 25 to 34, which
costitued
Correct your spelling
constituted
53%, 52.5%,
just
Correct word choice
and just
show examples
under 50%, respectively.
Submitted by zhangyongc83 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words exercise, men, women, group, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Australian men
  • Australian women
  • Age groups
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participated
  • Increased
  • Decreased
  • Proportion
  • Physically active
  • Gender difference
  • Engaged
  • Exercise
What to do next:
Look at other essays: