IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think only best students should be rewarded. Others think we should reward students who make progress. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that the top
students
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 are the only ones that could be rewarded
while
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 others argue that
students
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 with
changes
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 should
also
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 be given a reward. In my opinion, those
students
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have big
changes
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 could be given rewards because they are better influenced by other
students
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. In institutions, it is commonly
done
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said
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 that only the top
students
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 are given rewards because of their intelligence. These
students
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 have extremely prioritised improvement which they deserve to be acknowledged.
Besides
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, the knowledge and skills they have acquired will not benefit
the
Rephrase
only the
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 school but most especially the
students
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 which could set off their
life
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lives
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 and careers. It will be their gateway to achieve their dreams and obtain a better quality of life. In my opinion, I believe that not only the best
students
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 should
have
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be
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 rewarded because sometimes these
students
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 have a better grasp on life than other
students
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. On the one hand,
students
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 make an improvement should
also
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 be given a reward because they could be a better inspiration to other people.
For instance
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, they were
students
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 that
does
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did
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 not excel in their classes but
due to
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 the support of teachers, they were able to keep up and improve. Rewarding these
students
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 might help boost their confidence to study more and might
also
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 influence other
students
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. These
students
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 experienced big
changes
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 are better at influencing other individuals because they
could
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can
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 use their experiences to inspire them. I do think that
students
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 had big
changes
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 could have a reward because they could make a better impact on other
students
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. In conclusion, top
students
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 will always have rewards because they are more intelligent
however
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, I do think that
students
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 who progress are better at influencing their fellow
students
Use synonyms
 to study and improve.

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas and provide more comprehensive arguments throughout your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your points.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the two opposing views, which sets a good foundation for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
You addressed both views before giving your own opinion, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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