The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in

different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and

make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart provides information about the
percentages
of regular physical activity in both genders in the year 2010.
Overall
,
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
experienced a downward trend,
while
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
showed an upward trend
troughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
the period of
age
. Both
gender's
Fix the agreement mistake
genders'
show examples
rates had some fluctuations trend.
Although
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
initialy
Correct your spelling
initially
had
a higher
Correct the article-noun agreement
a higher percentage
higher percentages
show examples
percentages
of ages,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
it outraced females
at the end
of the period.
Males
Change noun form
Males'
Male's
show examples
regular physical activity at the
age
15
Change preposition
of 15
show examples
to 24 was about 52.8%, being higher than
female
Add an article
the female
show examples
rate by approximately 5%.
Then
, it decreased to almost 10.6% at the
age
25 to 34 and continue to decrease to 39.5% at the youth 35 to 44.
Then
the
percetages
Correct your spelling
percentage
percentages
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
steadily until the end of
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
, reaching around 43.1% at the maturity
45
Change preposition
of 45
show examples
to 54, 45.1% at the maturity
55
Change preposition
of 55
show examples
to 64, and hitting a higher point up about 46.7% in old
age
65 and over. Females
gender
in the youth 15 to 24 was 47.7%, having a fewer
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
than the
male's
Change noun form
male
show examples
gender
.
Then
, the
percentages
increased steadily at the
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
25 to 34 and 35 to 44, it was 48.9% to 52.5%. After that, the figure experienced
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
steady growth during the next
age
45 to 64, and decreased to 47.1%, in the
end
Add the comma(s)
,end
show examples
females
gender
outracing the male
percentages
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentages, age, gender with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Australian men
  • Australian women
  • Age groups
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participated
  • Increased
  • Decreased
  • Proportion
  • Physically active
  • Gender difference
  • Engaged
  • Exercise
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