IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart illustrates the portion of men who use cigarettes in seven different urban areas
along with
Linking Words
 the middle numbers of the whole planet in 2000 and 2015. Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that in some countries there was an increase in smoking habits and in others there was a decrease. Only one remained approximately the same and most of them were around the average for the world. Egypt and Lebanon were two states that showed a dramatic rise in data in 2015 ( going up from just over 30% to around 45-50%). Their results were very similar to those of the whole planet. The territories that showed a decrease in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of males that smoke
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 Armenia (dropping from around 70% to 50%), and Bangladesh (from 60% to under 40%). They were
also
Linking Words
 the ones with the highest rate of men smokers in 2000. Mexico and Australia showed a fall as well ( Both went from around 30% to around 20%).

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart, percentage, adult male smokers
  • world average, increased, decreased
  • tobacco consumption, lung cancer
  • public health, awareness campaigns
  • government policy, smoking bans
  • health risks, nicotine, tobacco industry
  • chart analysis, data comparison
  • statistical trend, significant fluctuation
  • stagnation, steady rise, moderate fall
What to do next:
Look at other essays: