In many countries, women join the army as men do. However, some people argue that the army solely needs males. What is your opinion?

#countries #women #army #men #people #males

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Our governments are doing many efforts and passing rules for

women

Use synonyms

's authority and goods. In the plethora of nations, females part of the military

army

Use synonyms

as males do, I'm agree with the first notion

as well as

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this

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views in the paragraph . Let's begin with,

firstly

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, The authorities gives many opportunities for

women

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's rights

Although

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Girls

Use synonyms

participate in numerous field and are successful,

Moreover

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, females are joining the

army

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line,

with

Change preposition

show examples

very good spirit and performed in their stream as men,

However

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, some people are supporting

this

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thing and motivate for their girl child. The second thing is,

girls

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always good efforts when they are in school

such

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as studying and playing sports since childhood , But some individuals did not appreciate their

girls

Use synonyms

and always discourage

from

Change preposition

show examples

these things. But others did not think it

this

Linking Words

Consequently

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, the Indian queen of Jhansi was a dedicated, fearless gentlewoman of their century who led their

team

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or was successful in wars.

Additionally

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, every Indian

proud

Add a missing verb

is proud

show examples

of their dare. So, every lady does best in their stream physically and mentally like gents. On the other flip side, In some religions did not encourage their

girls

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for the military

army

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because they think it

this

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worked only for men's the reason is they are strong than

women

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such

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as body fitness and emotionally gents powerful in every physical activity.

While

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, society or men people did not like opposite sex that heavy

Change preposition

apply

show examples

there and compare with their

that is

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one reason why many married females spoiled their career and before marriage parents did not support their daughters, because they think that no one did not get

marriage

Replace the word

married

show examples

with their daughter's

For instance

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, recently I saw the news about the Turkey war one side boy lead their

team

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and second hand a girl lead the

team

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so any reason for Turkey to lose the war because they had to say the girl lead the

team

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. That's why they lose it.

Nevertheless

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, in some ,nations high authorities did not give opportunities for a noblewoman kind of navy and airforce.

To conclude

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

are doing very well and very successful in their work

such

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as in the military

army

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and other many streams

Although

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, Government gives plentiful authority for

girls

Use synonyms

' rights

while

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society did not courage ladies

However

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they always feel down on male people. So they should change their opinion on woman's rights.

Submitted by PREETY on Wed Jun 07 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

402 words

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In many countries, women join the army as men do. However, some people argue that the army solely needs males. What is your opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

The governments should give each citizen a basic income so that they have enough money to live on, even if they are unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.