IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many employers find that their new employees lack sufficient interpersonal skills such as lack of ability to work with colleagues as a team. What are the causes? Can you suggest some possible solutions?

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In the era-shifting 21st century, large-scale enterprises require their successful applicants to have excellent interpersonal
skills
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 deemed as their invaluable assets.
However
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, almost all of the fresh graduates fail to fulfil
this
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 criterion.
This
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 essay will get to the root of the problem.
Firstly
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, the underlying rationale for
this
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 trend could be the
education
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 system
put
Wrong verb form
puts
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 too much emphasis on academic credentials. The current obsession with exam results is considered to be detrimental to
students
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'
education
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. In fact, the curriculum which is essentially theoretical rather than practical in orientation provides
students
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 with insufficient exposure to hands-on experience. Undeniably, the absence of soft
skills
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 puts obstacles in the
students
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 handling the situations diplomatically and integrating socially It is highly suggested that universities should have to come up with feasible solutions to put an entire complexion on the
education
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 system.
Firstly
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,
students
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 should
foster to
Verb problem
apply
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engage in extracurricular training sessions, workshops and internships, which can give them room to think about themselves, gain hands-on experience and supplement soft
skills
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.
Furthermore
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, tertiary
education
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 should instil some virtues,
such
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 as enthusiasm, discretion, verbal
skills
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, courtesy, initiative and self-esteem worth cultivating in
students
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' mindsets,
last
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 but not least,
students
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 have to pass the skill assessment tests for taking the advanced courses or graduating from universities. In conclusion, there has been an increasing number of
newly-hired
Correct your spelling
newly hired
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 employees who lack interpersonal
skills
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. In an attempt to address
this
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 predicament, they should tackle the situations with great diplomacy, and it will enable the preliminary stages of their career to end in great triumph

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task question. Introduce the causes and suggest possible solutions in a clear and comprehensive manner.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a more coherent and cohesive manner. Use transition words to connect your ideas more effectively and ensure a logical flow of information throughout the essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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