IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to spend their free time outdoors. Other people prefer to spend their leisure time indoors. Would you prefer to be outside? or would you prefer to be inside for your leisure activities? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.

Nowadays, spending quality
time
Use synonyms
 is very important to
retrieve
Verb problem
relieve
show examples
 stress from our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 some people prefer to spend their free
time
Use synonyms
 indoors, I would like to dedicate my
time
Use synonyms
 to outdoor activities. I think
this
Linking Words
 way for two reasons
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 I will explore in the following essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, outdoor activities help us to stay close to nature and enjoy the weather and natural resources. In
Correct article usage
a
show examples
busy work life, we are always trapped
around
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technology indoors
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
spending
Punctuation problem
, spending
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 outside could be refreshing.
For instance
Linking Words
, as a software developer, I spend most of my
time
Use synonyms
 in front of a computer inside the office. So, on weekends I make picnic plans with my family in national parks.
Whereas
Linking Words
 I hang out with my parents after a busy week. At the
time
Use synonyms
, I loved to pass my
time
Use synonyms
 out in
fresh
Correct article usage
the fresh
show examples
 air and lush greenery. Not only
nature
Verb problem
does nature
show examples
fuels
Wrong verb form
fuel
show examples
 your soul with freshness and positive energy, but it
also
Linking Words
 motivates you.
Secondly
Linking Words
, spending leisure
time
Use synonyms
 outdoors more often contributes to good health. It helps to increase your physical activity. My personal experience is a compelling example of
this
Linking Words
. In my freshman year in college, I used to spend most of my free
time
Use synonyms
 indoors playing video games with my roommate.
Therefore
Linking Words
, sitting all day long with no physical activity made me
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 that I am losing strength and gaining unexpected weight, which motivated me to spend my leisure
time
Use synonyms
 in a park next to my apartment. I started running as my early morning routine, which helped me to gain my strength back and led to losing weight in the most natural way. In conclusion, I strongly believe that spending your free
time
Use synonyms
 outdoors can affect your life in the most positive way. It helps to stay close to nature and keep yourself healthy.

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content
Make your view clear in the first paragraph and keep it in every part of the essay.
language
Use simple links to join ideas, like 'First', 'Next', 'For example', 'Because of this'.
content
Add more detail to each reason, and tie the example right to the idea.
language
Check for small mistakes in grammar, plural, and punctuation.
content
Clear choice to talk about outdoors.
content
Two good reasons with a personal example.
structure
Some good plan and order in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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