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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two bar charts show the proportion of 14-16 year-old students studying a modern foreign language in an English Speaking country and the top three popular foreign languages. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The chart below displays the percentage of two genders who are
school’s
Change noun form
school
show examples
students
Use synonyms
studied
Correct pronoun usage
who studied
show examples
 a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 at 14 to 16 years in an
English speaking
Add a hyphen
English-speaking
show examples
 country and the top three popular new
Use synonyms
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
 their
like
Wrong verb form
liked
show examples
 to study in 1984 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that more girls have
passion
Add an article
a passion
the passion
show examples
 to learn new languages than boys in all survey years.
Also
Linking Words
, French was the most popular
language
Use synonyms
 that
students
Use synonyms
 would like to study compared with another two languages. In 1984, there were around 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
females
Change the noun form
female
show examples
students
Use synonyms
learned
Correct pronoun usage
who learned
show examples
 a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 contracted with 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of males. After
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 all numbers decreased dramatically in 2007, 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of girls studied
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
language
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, approximately 25
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of boys study another
language
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the most famous
language
Use synonyms
 for
students
Use synonyms
 learning was French, reaching 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 compared with 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of German and under 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of Spanish in 1984. In 2007, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 people who studied French declined suddenly, peaking
Change preposition
at
show examples
around 25
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and the percentage of
students
Use synonyms
learned
Correct pronoun usage
who learned
show examples
 German decreased low than 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the number of
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
 who learned Spanish
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
 to 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, language, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • modern foreign languages
  • English-speaking country
  • demographic
  • participation
  • gender disparities
  • trends
  • popularity rankings
  • analyzing
  • implications
  • cultural factors
  • economic ties
  • global job market
  • increasingly globalized
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