IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that what individuals protect the environment cannot make a difference. Other people say that every individual should take responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #environment #difference #responsibility
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 argue that an individual's person protecting the environment cannot make any difference,
while
Linking Words
 other groups claim that if every individual takes responsibility for protecting the earth where we live it would be better. I completely agree that everyone should take part in activities that
prevent
Verb problem
protect
show examples
 our environment. On the one hand, the gas we
produced
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
 every day from cars, motorbikes, and manufacturing
makes
Verb problem
causes
show examples
 a lot of tough issues
such
Linking Words
 as global warming and air pollution,
However
Linking Words
, even though we have found some methods to solve these problems if only a small number of individuals take action these problems still not be resolved,
for example
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 insist on walking
instead
Linking Words
 of cycling to emit gas, there are still many
people
Use synonyms
 who are willing to travel in private cars.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, If everyone can stick their determination to protect nature, I believe that unbelievable energy will bloom from a small power, Take some example, more and more environment-friendly products started selling in the markets around the world and many countries’ government started emphasizing the importance of the concept of natural protection.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, plenty of families
began
Wrong verb form
have begun
show examples
 to replace some particular traffic facilities which will accelerate global warming, using more electricity transport devices. In conclusion, I believe that all
people
Use synonyms
 who
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in our society should participate and pay more attention to the Earth where our
hometown
Fix the agreement mistake
hometowns
show examples
 are.
Submitted by caelumz1121 on

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task response
Provide a clear and focused response to the task with relevant, specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that ideas are logically organized and connected throughout the essay with a clear introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collective action
  • significant environmental change
  • personal habits
  • conserving water
  • systemic changes
  • industrial pollution
  • deforestation
  • corporate and governmental policies
  • environmentally friendly practices
  • sustainable products
  • policies and regulations
  • global environmental challenges
  • ripple effect
  • broader societal changes
What to do next:
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