IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

some young people like to copy the behaviour and clothes of famous people today? why might this be the case? what problem can it cause?

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Introduction
The chart demonstrates the data regarding the diet and
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 factors among 2
Use synonyms
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
of students.
Body paragraph 1
Youth
belongs
Wrong verb form
belonging
show examples
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
group
Use synonyms
b
Use synonyms
consumes
Correct subject-verb agreement
consume
show examples
 20% more food with a
high fat
Add a hyphen
high-fat
show examples
 content with respect to
group
Use synonyms
 a.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the percentage of fish and cereals consumption among both groups are equal which is 5% and 35%. Students from
group
Use synonyms
b
Use synonyms
 do not like
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
group
Use synonyms
a
Correct your spelling
A
show examples
 consumes 17% more
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
 than
group
Use synonyms
b
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, youth
belongs
Wrong verb form
belonging
show examples
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
group
Use synonyms
b
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 10% more overweight than
group
Use synonyms
 a.
Whereas
Linking Words
, illness in the past year for
group
Use synonyms
 a youth was negligible.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 attendance at classes for both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
groups
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 above average for
group
Use synonyms
a
Correct your spelling
A
show examples
 it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
90% and 75% for
group
Use synonyms
b
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
Overall
Linking Words
, Fruit consumption among both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
groups was way less and especially
group
Use synonyms
b
Use synonyms
 children did not like
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
 at all.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of overweight children
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
group
Use synonyms
b
Use synonyms
 is doubled with respect to
group
Use synonyms
 a.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • role models
  • aspire
  • influenced by
  • lifestyle
  • fashion choices
  • social media
  • visibility
  • accessible
  • desirable
  • followers
  • endorsements
  • marketing campaigns
  • trendsetters
  • peer pressure
  • conformity
  • emulate
  • experiment
  • identity
  • express themselves
  • admire
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