Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree ?
A lot of rich
people
nowadays try to help poor
population. Add an article
the poor
This
paper will investigate the advantages of being rich. Eventually, I will highlight the most important factor of being rich and draw my own conclusion. In terms of some views, the most valuable thing that rich
community can do is to help Correct article usage
a rich
other crowd
. The main reason provided to support Change the wording
another crowd
other crowds
this
claim is that, if rich folk help poor
public, the percentage of poverty in the world will decrease. To illustrate, there are a lot of humanitarian institutions in the world that rely on the financial aid received from Add an article
the poor
the
rich companies and society, and if these stakeholders don’t provide the needed amount of money, Correct article usage
apply
then
there will not be enough resources to help the people
in dire need. Also
, when rich people
provide aid, then
which helps in promoting
stability and peace in the world. Wrong verb form
promote
Moreover
, having a lot of money can guarantee other important things to people
. Firstly
, being rich means there is enough money to guarantee a better quality of life. For example
, Rich parents can enrol their children in the best schools and provide apply
them with the best health care system. Verb problem
apply
Also
, family
who are rich; live a luxurious life, and can spoil themselves by purchasing new cars and fancy houses. In conclusion, though there are various things that can make rich Fix the agreement mistake
families
community
happy, I believe that the most important thing is helping Fix the agreement mistake
communities
poor
public. Because Add an article
the poor
apply
to help other Wrong verb form
applying
community
; many social problems will be eliminated, and a better quality of life will be provided to everyone.Fix the agreement mistake
communities
Submitted by abdulilahali2023 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite