The charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or further education in 1980, 1990, and 2000.

#detail #proportion #australian #school #graduates #education

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The three pie charts illustrate three kinds of situations of high school

students

after they graduated in the 20 years period between 1980, 1990 and 2000. It is clear from the chart that employed

students

made up the highest percentage in 3 years. Second place is

further

education for chosen

students

. And

lastly

students

who did not have employment accounted for the lowest rate.

Firstly

, employed

students

in Australia had a downward trend from 40 per cent in 1980 to 55 per cent in 2000. In 1980, the proportion of

students

who had jobs just only the second highest in the three categories ;

however

this

rate rosed to first place in the two years 1990 and 2000.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the proportion of pupils who choose

further

schooling had an upward trend from half to 37%, the position of

this

ratio in the charts is opposite to the rate of hired

students

By contrast

, the percentage of jobless

students

constantly changed, from 10% in 1980 to 12% in 1990 and

then

dropped to 8% in 2000.

Submitted by hopeganamjinvkook on Fri Jun 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

174 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Nowadays, places that have extreme circumstances become exciting vacation destinations for many people. Though this might sound odd, there have been advantages and disadvantages towards this matters, for me personally having an experience in those conditions have much benefits when it is being supervised by local guides and with a good preparation.
4.5
band
Students perform better in school then they rewarded rather then punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answear and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or expirience.
Scholars carry out better in school when they rewarded than punished . I support idea of awarding students for great performing in school then giving punishments. Overall, every children should have their individual approach of how parents motivating them for better improvements in school education, but parents not always understand how stimulate their childs correctly as well as teachers. This essay will explore various opinions of how to do it right without leading it to any unfortunate consequences.
4.5
band
It will be better to have wide use of driverless cars for individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
In this contemporary era, everything is growing rapidly, some companies started inventing cars with self-driving abilities, and I widely agree using driverless car definitely can benefit this society and most of the people, saving time while driving on the road has significant improvements for resident and reducing the number of car accidents that happen on the road.
7.5
band
Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?
It is true that growing trees and expanding the vegetation in an area is of high importance. While some people argue that vacant spaces in cities and towns whether should be a place for planting trees or for housing, I take a balanced view as I believe that both options have their own positives and necessities.
7
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
Besides the extensive rise of technological advancements in the present time, people often find that it is essential to know the story of their surroundings, including houses and buildings, by going back to the past. There are several reasons behind this trend and methods to assess it, which will be explained in the following paragraphs.

The charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or further education in 1980, 1990, and 2000.

Fully explain your ideas

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Students perform better in school then they rewarded rather then punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answear and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or expirience.

It will be better to have wide use of driverless cars for individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?