IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or further education in 1980, 1990, and 2000.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The three pie charts illustrate three kinds of situations of high school
students
Use synonyms
 after they graduated in the 20 years period between 1980, 1990 and 2000. It is clear from the chart that employed
students
Use synonyms
 made up the highest percentage in 3 years. Second place is
further
Linking Words
 education for chosen
students
Use synonyms
. And
lastly
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who did not have employment accounted for the lowest rate.
Firstly
Linking Words
, employed
students
Use synonyms
 in Australia had a downward trend from 40 per cent in 1980 to 55 per cent in 2000. In 1980, the proportion of
students
Use synonyms
 who had jobs just only the second highest in the three categories ;
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 rate rosed to first place in the two years 1990 and 2000.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the proportion of pupils who choose
further
Linking Words
 schooling had an upward trend from half to 37%, the position of
this
Linking Words
 ratio in the charts is opposite to the rate of hired
students
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of jobless
students
Use synonyms
 constantly changed, from 10% in 1980 to 12% in 1990 and
then
Linking Words
 dropped to 8% in 2000.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: