IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.

The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.
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the line chart shows the number of people that reply to
a questionnaires
Correct the article-noun agreement
a questionnaire
questionnaires
show examples
 made by a Tourist Information Office through
letter
Use synonyms
/
email
Use synonyms
, telephone and individual.
Overall
Linking Words
, during
months
Correct article usage
the months
show examples
 there was a relevant increase in the "
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
" method and a drastic flop of the
letter
Use synonyms
/
email
Use synonyms
 way.
This
Linking Words
 data was collected by a Tourist Information Office and concerned the first six months of 2011 and it can be inferred from the graph that there was an increase of people that preferred the person and telephone ways
instead
Linking Words
 of the
letter
Use synonyms
/
email
Use synonyms
. In April both physical and voice methods start a significant growth,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
letter
Use synonyms
 and
email
Use synonyms
 instrument started their decline. The highest values
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 reached by person way and it was around 1850 people.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words letter, email with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Questionnaire
  • Tourist Information Office
  • Individual submission
  • Letter/email communication
  • Telephone survey
  • Fluctuation
  • Stable trend
  • Gradual increase
  • Varied patterns
  • Surpassed
  • Significant rise
  • Seasonal peak
  • Tourist behavior
  • Information campaign
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