The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.

The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.
the line chart shows the number of people that reply to
a questionnaires
Correct the article-noun agreement
a questionnaire
questionnaires
show examples
made by a Tourist Information Office through
letter
/
email
, telephone and individual.
Overall
, during
months
Correct article usage
the months
show examples
there was a relevant increase in the "
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
" method and a drastic flop of the
letter
/
email
way.
This
data was collected by a Tourist Information Office and concerned the first six months of 2011 and it can be inferred from the graph that there was an increase of people that preferred the person and telephone ways
instead
of the
letter
/
email
. In April both physical and voice methods start a significant growth,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
letter
and
email
instrument started their decline. The highest values
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
reached by person way and it was around 1850 people.
Submitted by linda.marchetto on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words letter, email with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: