The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.
The line graph illustrates how family filled in their information about the questions that exist in the questionnaires. The data were three ways by letter or email, phone and, an individual during the first 6 months in 2011.
Overall
we can see many people used body and a few societies used email or letters.
During the first 3 months, we can see the contact is at the highest level and the person is at the lowest level, after that the person increased significantly and became the first way that community used it.
During the period from March to May, the graph shows using letters or emails dropped dramatically Linking Words
whereas
telephone and person increased dramatically.
The number by phone dropped by about 100 during the early month when it increased largely to 900 in June. Linking Words
Although
the number means of letters/emails stayed the same from January to March, it decreased about two times until May when it stayed the same the next month.
In conclusion, we understand using the man is the most increasedLinking Words
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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