The chart below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selelcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relavant.

The chart below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selelcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relavant.
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The bar graphs depict the information about the destination of UK graduates and postgraduates who completed their studies but do not do full-time work in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the maximum number of students took their
further
Linking Words
education,
whereas
Linking Words
the minimum participated in voluntary work.
To begin
Linking Words
with, 29,665 graduates had
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
to do education continuously, whilst postgraduates accounted for 2,725. A difference was seen in 3,155 tutees in both bar charts who perform voluntary work in their society after
done
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
their study. Moving onto
further
Linking Words
information, 2,535 postgraduate learners participated part-time for earning money for their daily needs,
while
Linking Words
it increased by 15,200 students in
graduate
Add an article
the graduate
show examples
field.
Lastly
Linking Words
, 16,235 graduate students do not do any type of they have become jobless and 1,625 postgraduates.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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