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Band 5.5

Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: Say why you would like to go on the trip Suggest what you could do to help during the trip Ask other questions about the trip

#child #three #school #trip #country #head #teacher #parents #group #questions
Dear Mr. Alan, I am writing
this
 letter to inquire about participating in the school trip to Thailand next month. Let me explain in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
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.
According to
 the parent meeting which we discussed
last
 week,
school
Add an article
the school
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 need some parents who are able to go with the group, and I would like to be the one who will have the opportunity to get great experiences with their kids abroad. Another reason that I am very well come to join the trip, is because my child is allergic
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some kinds of food;
such
 as peanuts and gluten. So I will appreciate it if I can
look-after
Correct your spelling
look after
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 him closely.
In addition
, I
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 been working at a child
center
Change the spelling
centre
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, so I do have some skills in taking care of children, and I am an expert in child
behaviors
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behaviours
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 and have experiences to handle in their needs. As it was mentioned
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom of the document which I got from the meeting, I would like more information about the accommodation and transportation during the trip that I
am really concern
Change the verb form
am really concerned
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 it will be affected
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
hot
Add an article
a hot
the hot
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 season in Thailand when we
have arrived
Wrong verb form
arrive
show examples
 there. If you require any
further
 information, please do not hesitate to
cantact
Correct your spelling
contact
 me.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 sincerely, Kobkarn Ariyaburoot
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a separate main idea to maintain clarity and organization.
task achievement
Briefly check for minor grammatical errors or typos that can occasionally distract, although they don't significantly impair communication.
task achievement
You've effectively communicated your reason for wanting to join the trip, focusing on your child's needs and your capability to assist.
coherence cohesion
Your closing and sign-off are appropriately formal, matching the tone expected in letter writing.
coherence cohesion
It's clear you've segmented the letter into paragraphs, each with a distinct purpose, which is great for readability.
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