The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress level amongs professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or coollage lecurer.

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The given bar graph illustrates the average amount of

hours

worked by the individual in a week. Meanwhile, the pie chart shows the percentage of

stress

and Illness among people in different fields.

Overall

, it is clear from the data that businessmen work more when compared to other professions

whereas

, the

lecturers

with the least count.

However

lecturers

are highly affected by

stress

and connected illness and programmers own the minority count.

Firstly

, as mentioned earlier, Businessmen are the highest with 70

hours

per week followed by movie producers with 60

hours

and

then

doctors account for 50

hours

and writers with 45.The programmers spend up to 40

hours

within 7 days.

Likewise

, Lawyers and chefs own 35 and 30 respectively.

Moreover

lecturers

are the ones with the least count by approximately 25

hours

Secondly

, here

lecturers

are the ones with the highest

stress

level

Change preposition

show examples

25% and movie producers account for 18% followed by doctors

with

Change preposition

show examples

15% which is not much less when compared to the producers. The businessmen's

stress

level is 11% .

Although

, the lawyers and writers have 8% each.

Finally

, the programmers are the ones with the least

stress

level.

Submitted by ameeshaaa19 on Mon Jun 12 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, stress, lecturers with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

192 words

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