Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is widely argued that it is better for the growth of children to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
in outdoor
activities
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than to play
computer
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games
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. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
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view and will give several reasons for
this
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in the essay below. There are some negative consequences of playing
computer
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games
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.
First,
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spending time with the
computer
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screen for so long results in physical health.
For example
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, children playing
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
may have no time to move, and easy to get obese. They are prone to diabetes and heart disease.
In addition
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, less physical movement is
also
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the reason for not developing their bodies
such
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as bones and muscles in their formative time.
Secondly
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, mental health is negatively affected by
computer
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games
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. Addiction to
computer
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games
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may lead to stress and anxiety which results in children’s concentration on the
games
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and their eyes being glued to the
computer
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screens.
On the other hand
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, outdoor
activities
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bring several positive effects on children’s development. The main advantage is that outdoor
activities
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help develop strength in a strong body. With experiences in outdoor movement, they may find their interest in sports,
such
Linking Words
as basketball, football, or valley balls…. These habits of playing sports may continue into their adult lives and are very useful for keeping them fit and healthy. Another benefit is that different from indoor
activities
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, outdoor ones are surrounded by sunshine and fresh air which build up their immune system.
As a result
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, they may have a physical well-being that may lead a happy and successful life. In conclusion, for the mentioned reasons, it seems to me that children are more likely to develop better when they
involve
Wrong verb form
are involved
show examples
in outdoor
activities
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, compared to
computer
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games
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.
Submitted by mtgngocanh on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use transition words to connect ideas and create a cohesive structure.
task response
Address all parts of the task question in the introduction, body, and conclusion. Support your ideas with relevant examples and develop them fully.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical development
  • Overall health
  • Coordination
  • Foster
  • Social skills
  • Teamwork
  • Mental well-being
  • Creativity
  • Exploration
  • Strategic thinking
  • Problem-solving
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Sedentary lifestyles
  • Social isolation
  • Moderation
  • Balanced approach
  • Detract
  • Obesity
  • Poor posture
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