“Subjects such as drama and music are just as important as maths and languages.” Do you agree?

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From school days, children
ae
Correct your spelling
are

The word ae doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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taught important
subjects
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

like mathematics, science, geography, languages etc.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

teachers teach the kids the importance of these
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, it is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essential for them to have access to fields like drama and
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In my personal opinion, I do believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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artistic
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are of as much importance as other
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will shed some light
upon
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the value of
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

topics.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, on
one
Correct article usage
the one

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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hand,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

growing up, children tend to learn various skills in school. Most of their cognitive and social development
occur
Correct subject-verb agreement
occurs

It seems that the verb occur does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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in classrooms. Theatre is a theme that can allow the young ones to interact with each other and adjust
with
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their
surrondings
Correct your spelling
surroundings

If you don’t want surrondings to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. It brings
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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youngsters of varied age groups together.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in schools, students from all
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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age categories are allowed to participate in a particular play, giving them a chance to divergent
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups

It seems that group may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of people. Various plays and dramas help us to understand the ongoing conflicts in the society they live in and it will
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

help them develop their perception on various topics.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we have topics like
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is an essential learning element.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

giving all their attention to heavy
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

like maths and science, kids can easily become tired.
Music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can help them relax from their daily routine and it acts like an
extracirricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
extra-curricular

If you don’t want extracirricular to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

activity. There are
varied
Add an article
a varied

The noun phrase varied amount seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts

It seems that amount may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of instruments available that we can practice upon and it would help us to take a moment to breathe.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun research in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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research suggests that listening to
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or even playing a musical instrument, helps in decreasing
anxiety
Correct article usage
the anxiety

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and stress of an individual. In conclusion, even though maths and languages are important
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that could help a person to thrive in their career, some
art related
Add a hyphen
art-related

It seems that art related is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are of as much importance. The fields of drama and
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can help a human being to develop socially
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

emotionally leading to a fall in their stressful
worklife
Correct your spelling
work life
work-life

If you don’t want worklife to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
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