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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar charts compare the relation of the British result in a survey in three separate regions of the UK about the decision of house in four categories in 2009.

The bar charts compare the relation of the British result in a survey in three separate regions of the UK about the decision of house in four categories in 2009.
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The bar chart demonstrates the proportion of housing preferences of UK citizens in three different areas, namely
Liverpool
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,
London
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 and
Manchester
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 in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Liverpool
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 citizens are more interested in apartments
whereas
Linking Words
 people in
London
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 and
Manchester
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 preferred semi-detached
houses
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 most.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, nearly two-thirds (59%) of the population in
Liverpool
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 love living in apartments. Meanwhile, the
London
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 dwellers slightly outnumbered
Manchester
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 dwellers in terms of
apartments
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apartment
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 preference, with respective figures being 29% and 19%. Turning to terraced
houses
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 used by UK people, the figure for that in
London
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 stood at 19%, followed by
Manchester
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 with 12% and
Liverpool
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 with 9%. Regarding the remaining categories, the proportion of detached
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houses
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house
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 users in
Manchester
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 was nearly a
third,
Linking Words
which was nearly 2 times higher than that of
Liverpool
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. Meanwhile, similarities can
also
Linking Words
 be witnessed in the figure for
London
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 and
Manchester
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 in semi-detached
houses
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, which were approximately 38%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words liverpool, london, manchester, houses with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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