IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts below describe
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the percentage of time working adults spend on different activities in a particular country between 1958 and 2008.The adults spend their time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these activities:working,other interests or playing sports,going out(with friends or families),
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 to work,sleeping and relaxing at home.
Overall
Linking Words
,the pie charts illustrate that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
adults spent more time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working and sleeping
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each
Change the determiner
every
show examples
 two years(working in 1958 was 33
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
,in 2008 was 42
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and sleeping in 1958 was 32%,in 2008 was 25
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
).
In addition
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 was increased and decreased from 1958 to 2008. The pie charts show that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
other interests or playing sports,working,relaxing at home and
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 to work
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 raised(other
intereats
Correct your spelling
interests
 from 6 to 8%,working from 33% to 42%,relaxing at home from 8% to 13
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 and travel to work from 2% to 8
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
).
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 sleeping and going out
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased(sleeping from 32 to 25
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and going out from 19 to 6%) between 1958 and year of 2008.
Non
Correct your spelling
None
show examples
 of them increased dramatically.
Submitted by Ayan on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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