IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

#students #science #subjects #university #countries #effects #society
There are many pupils who
are choose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
humanities
instead
 of
science
 subjects in university in many countries nowadays.The reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
problem
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
 so much,
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
study
 programs are hard in universities or
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 generation prefer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
humanities
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they do not like
science
.I think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
It is
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
show examples
 for society. The
students
 who
are not choose
Change the verb form
do not choose
show examples
 scientific subjects
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will be
problem
Add an article
a problem
show examples
 for society.Because,of
course
Add the comma(s)
,course
show examples
humanities
 are valuable,the
students
 when graduate
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
humanities
,they can work
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
barrister
Correct article usage
a barrister
show examples
,police or in any other job.
However
science
 mean
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
engineer,doctor,
architect
Replace the word
architecture
show examples
 and so many different and
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
 job.
For instance
:nowadays there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 so many global
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 in the world and one of
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these problems
show examples
problem
 is
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
problem
.The Earth need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new alternative energy resource and what do you think?Can lawyers,
pilice
Correct your spelling
pilots
 and others solve
this
problem
?Of course not.That's why In my point of view for today,
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 have to
study
science
. At the same time in my point of view,the one reason
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the student choose
humanities
istead
Correct your spelling
instead
 of
science
,
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
students
 dislike mathematics,physics and chemistry.As an example:the searching show that,there are
people
 who are not like math in Europe and majority of
people
 does not like math in France.I think the teacher can find a new way to make
people
 love
this
 subject.
Thus
,the
people
 who like
science
 will increase in society and
also
 engineers,doctors and others will raise. In conclude,to my mind the reason of
people
 choose
humanities
instead
 of
science
 subjects is
study
 programs and teachers.The
study
 programs can be easy and teachers have to motivate their
students
 for growing the
people
 who love the
science
.
Submitted by Ayan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • promotion
  • opportunities
  • role models
  • lucrative
  • employment
  • gender stereotypes
  • societal norms
  • access to information
  • technological stagnation
  • shortage
  • skilled professionals
  • innovation
  • healthcare sector
  • workforce
  • global competitiveness
  • advancements
  • economic growth
  • public health services
  • environmental sciences
  • combat climate change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: