Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that
due to
an increasing in university tuition and decreasing in job opportunities for graduated
students
, it would be better for universities to remove
art
courses
such
as philosophy, and history from the curriculum.
Then
, the university should
instead
focus solely on the degree
courses
in which
students
will obtain high opportunities to be employed. I totally disagree with
this
statement, and my arguments will be elaborated in
this
essay.
To begin
with, it might be reasonable for some to believe that
students
should concentrate on the subjects which directly benefit from the job positions,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
finance, marketing, and supply chain, as
students
will be able to adapt easily when they start working in a company.
This
is probably because many jobs these days are solely
opened
Replace the word
open
show examples
for
students
who study in relevant majors, and companies
also
have high expectations from graduated
students
.
For example
, when I applied for a business analyst position, I found that most companies only considered applicants who graduated in business-related fields.
Moreover
, after being employed they believe that I am able to work smoothly without requiring training by utilising my knowledge from previous subjects that I have studied.
However
, I personally believe that each student has distinguished talents, which means that not all
students
will be capable to learn the aforementioned
courses
.
While
some are good at arithmetic, others
Add a missing verb
are expert
show examples
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
in
art
or music.
As a result
, there are numerous jobs in the real world, where artists and musicians
also
have a place. Assuming that only business
courses
are taught in the universities,
art
, music, and many other fields will
be vanished
Change to the active voice
vanish
have vanished
show examples
from our nation’s cultures and festivals because no one excels in these areas anymore. In conclusion,
although
the degree
courses
are essential for
students
for employment, I am of the opinion that removing
art
subjects is not a valid method for solving
this
problem.
Submitted by Partofyourworld on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: