Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing games on computers by childrens .

In contemporary society, the advancement of technology plays an essential role. Currently, most individuals and
children
can use their
computers
at any given time.
However
, young
children
play
computer
games
spending a number of hours. In
this
,essay I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
discuss what are the benefits of
computer
games
and the drawbacks of playing them. First and foremost, modern
computer
sports have been improved day by day drastically.
Accordingly
, the game developer has enhanced the quality of
games
. For
instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
,
computer
games
like chess, puzzle sorting, and sudoku can be listed as brain capacity-improving activities.
Therefore
,
children
who play the above
games
are able to enhance their thinking capacity, critical thinking and sudden decision-making skills. Those talents are important for their future life. In order to do that, gaining experience to improve the thinking pattern leads to creating a better person in society.
On the other hand
, companies who are involved in digital sports create, and develop their graphical and performance capacity continuously. Especially, they look to catch younger.
For example
, modern research has found,
young
Correct word choice
that young
show examples
children
spend 5 hours per day facing towards
computers
, mainly enjoying digital sports.
As a consequence
, they experience harmful medical conditions
such
as decreased vision, back pains and more and more bad health effects.
Hence
, it is vital to limit access to
computers
all the time.
To conclude
, rather than spending numerous hours in front of the
computers
, parents should limit the allocated time for using
computers
.
Furthermore
, there are plenty of strengths and weaknesses that can be observed in the usage of
computer
games
.
Finally
, to make a better world elders should establish a control system to protect their younger generation.
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coherence cohesion
The introduction does not clearly address the prompt, and the conclusion is abrupt. Try to clearly state the main points and provide a more conclusive ending.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address the advantages and disadvantages of playing computer games. Make sure to provide a balanced discussion of both the positive and negative aspects of the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • problem-solving skills
  • hand-eye coordination
  • spatial awareness
  • critical thinking
  • mental development
  • educational and interactive games
  • simulation games
  • social skills
  • teamwork and collaboration
  • communication and leadership abilities
  • global friendships
  • recreational activities
  • stress relief
  • physical health issues
  • poor posture
  • eye strain
  • repetitive strain injuries
  • gaming addiction
  • social isolation
  • depression and anxiety
  • academic performance
  • time management skills
  • inappropriate content
  • violent games
  • parental supervision
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