IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Fossil fuels (e.g. coals, oil and gas) are the main source of energy for most countries. However, alternative sources of energy (e.g. wind and solar) have been encouraged for use by some countries. To what extent is this a positive or negative development?

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These days alternative
energy
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sources
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 called Clean
Energy
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 are more useful for some countries.
However
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, the main
energy
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sources
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 from fossil fuels or Dirty
Energy
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such
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 as coal, oil and gas are still important for many countries. And eventually, the vital power supply behind human development always has two sides pros and cons. People have used the main
sources
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 of fossil fuels for many purposes and for a long time.
For instance
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, coal and gas are used in electricity generation, oil for transportation, and national gas for heating in the household till large industries. That means that we have created pollution and destroyed the earth at the same time.
Moreover
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, does anyone think about the limitation of those powers?
This
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 is why many scientists searched for alternative
energy
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 to prevent the impact of environmental damage and prepare for economic volatility. Some countries have come to use green or clean
energy
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 to generate electricity
such
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 as wind power, solar cell systems, hydropower, and biomass. These are clean as they said which is low carbon emission and environment-friendly.
However
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, some renewable
energy
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 still has a long way to go to be sustainable.
For example
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, hydropower from a large dam uses the movement of water to generate electricity. If we wanted to make it more powerful that meant the hydropower is from big capacity.
This
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 can affect initial environmental damage from building the giant barrier.
To sum up
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, using
energy
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 neither the original way nor renewable
energy
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, there are positive and negative developments.
However
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, it seems like alternative
sources
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 had more potential to investigate and improve.

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task achievement
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion on fossil fuels and alternative energy, but it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement outlining your position on whether it's a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and logical flow. Sometimes, points are slightly disconnected, which affects the overall coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to back up your points. This will strengthen your arguments and provide a more comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
The essay concludes strongly by summarizing the main points and acknowledging the potential of alternative energy.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your essay well.
task achievement
You addressed both fossil fuels and alternative energy sources, showing an understanding of the task requirements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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