IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Fossil fuels (e.g. coals, oil and gas) are the main source of energy for most countries. However, alternative sources of energy (e.g. wind and solar) have been encouraged for use by some countries. To what extent is this a positive or negative development?

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fossil fuels, like coal, oil, and gas, are the main
energy
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 sources for many
countries
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.
However
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, some
countries
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 are starting to use
alternative
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energy
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 like
wind
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 and solar power.
This
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 change has both good and bad sides, but
overall
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, it is a positive development. One big reason why
this
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 is good is that
alternative
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energy
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 is better for the environment. Fossil fuels create pollution, which leads to global warming and makes the air dirty.
This
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 can cause health problems like breathing issues.
Wind
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 and solar
energy
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 do not pollute the air, making them much cleaner. Another benefit is that
alternative
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energy
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 will never run out. Fossil fuels take millions of years to form, and one day, they will be gone.
However
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, the sun and
wind
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 will always be there, so people can keep using them forever.
However
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, there are some challenges.
First,
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building solar panels and
wind
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 turbines is expensive at the beginning. Some
countries
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 may not have enough money to change to clean
energy
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 quickly.
Also
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, weather affects these
energy
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 sources. Solar panels need sunlight, and
wind
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 turbines need
wind
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. If the weather is bad, they may not work well. Even though there are some problems,
alternative
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energy
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 is still a better choice for the future. It helps protect the planet, keeps people healthy, and will
last
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 forever. Governments should work to make clean
energy
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 cheaper and easier to use so that more
countries
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 can benefit from it.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents the topic clearly and states your opinion. However, you could strengthen your position by summarizing both sides before your conclusion. This would enhance your task response.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas. For example, using 'Moreover' at the beginning of the second paragraph could better connect your points about environmental benefits.
task achievement
When discussing challenges, try to provide more specific examples or data to bolster your points. For instance, you could reference a specific country that has faced these challenges with renewable energy.
task achievement
You clearly outline the benefits of alternative energy sources, particularly in relation to the environment and sustainability. This is a strong starting point for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly reiterates the importance of alternative energy and encourages government action, which provides a strong finish to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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