IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that is it a good thing for senior management to have a very high salary compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. To what extent do you agree?

#people #management #salary #workers #positions #company
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Some individuals believe that
employees
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior management
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 better for them to earn high salaries than
employees
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lower
positions
Use synonyms
. I totally agree with the statement, because
this
Linking Words
 trend boosts the principle of
fair
Replace the word
fairness
show examples
 and will increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are several reasons why I believe that workers who
work
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 high
positions
Use synonyms
 should
be receive
Change the verb form
receive
show examples
 high wages than other workers.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is fair to give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior
employees
Use synonyms
 high wages.
This
Linking Words
 is because they have more responsibilities than
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior
employees
Use synonyms
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a significant role to make sure the tasks finish before deadlines, and they have
team
Add an article
a team
show examples
 under them to
magange
Correct your spelling
manage
 it, and
ensuring
Wrong verb form
ensure
show examples
 every member of the
teams
Fix the agreement mistake
team
show examples
 are
work
Use synonyms
 hard in order to achieve profits
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
companies
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, giving
employees
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 high
positions
Use synonyms
 high pay can encourage
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
 to do their best.
This
Linking Words
 is because,
this
Linking Words
 can motivate every
workers
Change to a singular noun
worker
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 hard in order to receive promotions to become in high
positions
Use synonyms
 ,which
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can increase the
peformance
Correct your spelling
performance
 of all members of
companies
Use synonyms
 and gives them
purpose
Correct article usage
the purpose
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 hard .
As a result
Linking Words
 , the productivity of
employees
Use synonyms
 of
companies
Use synonyms
 will
gorwth
Correct your spelling
grow
,which means that
companies
Use synonyms
 can earn a considerable amount of profits.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 can contribute to the
prosper
Replace the word
prosperity
show examples
 of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 of whole countries,
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 because if the private
companies
Use synonyms
 earn more profits the taxes from
compaines
Correct your spelling
companies
 will increase, and the governments can use
this
Linking Words
 to make improvements
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 infrastructure
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 healthcare, education, public transport. In conclusion, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
gives
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 high wages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
 who
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 senior management can have
a positive impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive impact
positive impacts
show examples
 on the
companies
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
employees
Use synonyms
 and the whole country.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Meritocracy
  • Responsibilities
  • Economic Incentive
  • Talent Attraction
  • Disparity
  • Demotivate
  • Undervaluation
  • Productivity
  • Morale
  • Remuneration
  • Equity
  • Resentment
  • Disconnect
  • Profit Sharing
  • Compromise
  • Aligning
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