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Band 6.5

Some people think that is it a good thing for senior management to have a very high salary compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. To what extent do you agree?

#people #management #salary #workers #positions #company
Some individuals believe that
employees
 who
work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior management
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 better for them to earn high salaries than
employees
 who
work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lower
positions
. I totally agree with the statement, because
this
 trend boosts the principle of
fair
Replace the word
fairness
show examples
 and will increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity.
To begin
 with, there are several reasons why I believe that workers who
work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 high
positions
 should
be receive
Change the verb form
receive
show examples
 high wages than other workers.
Firstly
, it is fair to give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior
employees
 high wages.
This
 is because they have more responsibilities than
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
employees
.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior
employees
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a significant role to make sure the tasks finish before deadlines, and they have
team
Add an article
a team
show examples
 under them to
magange
Correct your spelling
manage
 it, and
ensuring
Wrong verb form
ensure
show examples
 every member of the
teams
Fix the agreement mistake
team
show examples
 are
work
 hard in order to achieve profits
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
companies
.
Secondly
, giving
employees
 who
work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 high
positions
 high pay can encourage
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
employees
 to do their best.
This
 is because,
this
 can motivate every
workers
Change to a singular noun
worker
show examples
 to
work
 hard in order to receive promotions to become in high
positions
 ,which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can increase the
peformance
Correct your spelling
performance
 of all members of
companies
 and gives them
purpose
Correct article usage
the purpose
show examples
 to
work
 hard .
As a result
 , the productivity of
employees
 of
companies
 will
gorwth
Correct your spelling
grow
,which means that
companies
 can earn a considerable amount of profits.
Furthermore
,
this
also
 can contribute to the
prosper
Replace the word
prosperity
show examples
 of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 of whole countries,
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
this
 because if the private
companies
 earn more profits the taxes from
compaines
Correct your spelling
companies
 will increase, and the governments can use
this
 to make improvements
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 infrastructure
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 healthcare, education, public transport. In conclusion, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
gives
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 high wages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
employees
 who
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 senior management can have
a positive impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive impact
positive impacts
show examples
 on the
companies
as well as
employees
 and the whole country.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Meritocracy
  • Responsibilities
  • Economic Incentive
  • Talent Attraction
  • Disparity
  • Demotivate
  • Undervaluation
  • Productivity
  • Morale
  • Remuneration
  • Equity
  • Resentment
  • Disconnect
  • Profit Sharing
  • Compromise
  • Aligning
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