IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.

The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
The two pie charts show spending
4
Change preposition
in 4
show examples
categories (petrol, computers,
furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
 and restaurants) in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 from 1971 to 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the percentage of expenditure
petrol
Change preposition
on petrol
show examples
 and furniture experienced a significant fall over the
30 year
Add a hyphen
30-year
show examples
 period
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure for computers saw a slight rose. In 1971, 36%
Change preposition
of an
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 average UK spending money went on petrol which is the second largest pie of the chart
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, by 2001 the figure for
this
Linking Words
 category had fallen by 8% During three
decade
Fix the agreement mistake
decades
show examples
 ago, the demand for furniture
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 population experienced a considerable fall from 32% to 8% .
By contrast
Linking Words
, in terms of
computers
Add a comma
,computers
show examples
 the percentage of expenditure money
this
Linking Words
 category made up 7% in 1971 and after 30
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure saw a sharp increase
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 12%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: