IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that education and healthcare should be free of charge and funded by the government. Others think that it should be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #healthcare #charge #government #responsibility #services
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It is pronounced that the
education
Use synonyms
 tuition
fees
Use synonyms
 and
healthcare
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 costs today are rapidly escalating, limiting the affordability for inhabitants in these fields. Because of
this
Linking Words
, a school of
thoughts
Fix the agreement mistake
thought
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 hold that people should be allowed to pursue
education
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 and access to
healthcare
Use synonyms
services
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 free of charge,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that residents should be responsible for their
education
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 and
healthcare
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. I personally lean towards the latter.  To commence with, a number of people hold the belief that they should be able to engage in
education
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 and obtain
healthcare
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services
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 because it may be a foundation for a more
cilvilized
Correct your spelling
civilized
civilised
 and developed country. When the government
abolishs
Correct your spelling
abolishes
abolished
abolish
education
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 and
healthcare
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fees
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, everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
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 to benefit from them.
As a result
Linking Words
, leading to
a more educated and healthy employees
Correct the article-noun agreement
more educated and healthy employees
a more educated and healthy employee
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 entering
labour
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the labour
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 market.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, making
education
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 and
healthcare
Use synonyms
fees
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 free are
also
Linking Words
 pro-poor policies. Especially for the underprivileged, who do not have
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
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 conditions to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
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 in academic studies and acquire
healthcare
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, regardless of human financial background, it is fair for people to receive
education
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 and
healthcare
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I contend that abolishing
education
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 and
healthcare
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 costs have
adverse
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an adverse
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 bearing on both governments and beneficiaries.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it would put a strain on
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 budget to cover
education
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 and
healthcare
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 for everyone. In fact, despite waiving
education
Use synonyms
 tuition
fees
Use synonyms
 and
healthcare
Use synonyms
 costs, there are other more pressing issues,
such
Linking Words
 as tackling air and water pollution and solving unemployment
issue
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issues
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 enormous amount of money
spent
Add a missing verb
is spent
show examples
 on
education
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 and
healthcare
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, it could result in
budget
Correct article usage
a budget
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 deficit or even
economic
Correct article usage
an economic
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 crisis.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, without
fees
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, there would be a decrease
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of
education
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 and
healthcare
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services
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. With a huge number of students and
patients
Change noun form
patients'
patient's
show examples
 access to schools and hospitals or clinics per month, they will be overloaded and
insufficient
Add a missing verb
have insufficient
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 staffing. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some individuals subscribe
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the opinion that
education
Use synonyms
 and
healthcare
Use synonyms
 should be free for everyone, I am of the opinion that the destructive influences will outweigh the constructive ones.
Submitted by trangch705 on

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