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Writing Samples
Band 6

Do young people today make good use of their leisure time? or do they spend too much time watching television and playing video games, instead of taking part in more productive activities?

#people #leisure #time #television #video #games #part #activities
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Leisure is the
time
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 that
people
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 can enjoy their free
time
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 and do the things they like. They can relax, rest, and enjoy life after doing their everyday
activities
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such
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 as working, studying, and housework. For young
people
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, leisure
time
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 is important because it can increase creativity and physical health.
Therefore
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, they use their
relaxation
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time
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 in a good way.
On the other hand
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, many young
people
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 choose watching
television
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 and playing
video
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games
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 as their
relaxation
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activities
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. In my opinion, these
activities
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 will make our minds and body feel relaxed, refreshed, and recharged. Another reason is that they can learn new things and increase their knowledge. One more reason is these
activities
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 feel enjoyable and entertaining. But, it is very important to balance it with other
activities
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. Too much watching
television
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 and playing
video
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games
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 can have a negative effect, increase anxiety, and affect their mental health. Some expert says just do it one hour per day. If more than that, it will affect and rise heart disease.
However
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, many societies say that it is better to do a productive activity rather than watching
television
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 and playing
video
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games
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. Because it will be more beneficial or have a good improvement to life. An example that a lot of society considers a productive activity is exercise. It can burn calories and makes the body more healthy. In conclusion, the young population use their
relaxation
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 moment in a great way. They choose to
watching
Change the verb
watch
show examples
television
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 and
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
video
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games
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 in their
relaxation
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time
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 which makes them feel relaxed and recharged.
Nevertheless
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, many
people
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 think that they should do more productive
activities
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instead
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 of just sitting in a chair or couch.
Submitted by natashasulaemann on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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