IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table gives information about the percentage of students' attendance in four groups of secondary schools between 2000 and 2009.

The table gives information about the percentage of students' attendance in four groups of secondary schools between 2000 and 2009.
The table gives information about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of students'
attendance
Use synonyms
 in four groups of secondary
schools
Use synonyms
 between 2000 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
while
Linking Words
 the figure for students attending Specialist
Schools
Use synonyms
, Grammar
Schools
Use synonyms
 and Voluntary-controlled
Schools
Use synonyms
 witnessed a decrease, the opposite was true for those
Community
Use synonyms
Schools
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of school children's
attendance
Use synonyms
 was seen in
Community
Use synonyms
Schools
Use synonyms
 in 2000 before having the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 2009. In the beginning, the proportion of students who enrolled in Specialist
Schools
Use synonyms
 started at the lowest point- 12%, which was less than half of the Grammar’s
percentage
Use synonyms
. After 9 years, the figure for
student’s
Change noun form
student
show examples
attendance
Use synonyms
 in Grammar
Schools
Use synonyms
 declined significantly to 12%
while
Linking Words
 Specialist
Use synonyms
Schools’s
Change noun form
Schools’
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 just witnessed a slight drop of 2%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, starting in 2000, Voluntary-controlled
Schools
Use synonyms
 had the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 with 52% compared to 12% in the proportion of
junior’s
Change noun form
juniors
show examples
attendance
Use synonyms
 of
Community
Use synonyms
Schools
Use synonyms
. Over the 9-year period, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of juniors going to
Community
Use synonyms
Schools
Use synonyms
 increased dramatically before reaching the peak at 58%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Voluntary-controlled
Schools
Use synonyms
 saw a considerable drop of 14% and 18% in 2005 and 2009 respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, attendance, schools, community with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: